Sunday, April 23, 2006

End of Week 15

Because of having to take "before" and "progress" photos, I've been taking a lot more pictures in general. This photo was taken at the Marlins home opener of my "brotha from another motha" Joe, yet another zany character. And, yes...this is what he normally looks like.

It's been a slow week in terms of weight loss progress. But as I've realized, I only lose weight about two or two-and-a-half weeks a month: usually the first week of the month I lose a couple of pounds, then my weight gradually goes up during my TOM. It stays that way for about a week, spikes even higher for a couple of days and then during the last 10-12 days of the month I drop, like, 6-8 lbs. Knowing this eases the anxiety of seeing the numbers go up on the scale, but it doesn't erase it, and I often spend those weeks in a bit of a funk. I probably shouldn't weigh myself during those days, but if don't then I won't be able to keep accurate track (which has helped me notice these patterns to begin with). {SIGH} Everyone says, "Be patient," or "Just keep doing what you're doing." And they're right, of course, but sh*t! This is EVERY FRIGGIN' DAY; EVERY FREAKIN' HOUR; EVERY F%$#*N' MEAL!!! It's soo tiresome, sometimes. I know, I know. I gotta focus on the big picture: how my health is improving, the progress I've already made, blah, blah, blah. Look, I'm not belittling what I've accomplished. Sometimes I have to grab the old photos to sort of "pinch" myself into remembering I have made progress. But, like I was telling my dad the other day, I get up, weigh myself, 5 minutes of exercise, go to work, walk a mile at lunch, come home from work, do at least 60 minutes of cardio, eat, prepare food for the next day--in between all of which I have to follow the NS food plan & chug 8 glasses of water--and when I go to sleep, thinking how proud of myself I am that I had a 100% day, I remember that, guess what? I gotta to repeat all that f*&^$n' s*#t again tomorrow!!!! And the next day, and the next day, and the day after that....and if I don't, then none of what I did before makes a gosh-darn bit of difference!!!

****Deep breath*******

What a pessimist I am. Sometimes the rant just takes ahold of you...just ask Dennis Miller. And despite all of that, I'm actually feeling pretty good today. I'm finally at those last 10-12 days of the month and I'm hoping to see the numbers continue to go down. I still feel pretty good about being able to make my birthday goal.

IRONY: I've spent my entire life hating the fact that my weight would forever be a factor in my "love" life (or lack thereof), because, let's face it, who wants to date a fat chick? And most guys I've been interested in have pretty much proved that to me. You could be bright, funny or whatever, but if you're fat most guys won't even bother to get to know you. But just in the last couple of weeks, I've had two guys tell me how "fat is sexy" and that my weight "doesn't matter." Isn't it ironic that I'd meet these fellas as I'm on the way down the scale?!? Go friggin' figure. LOL

1 comment:

Jamie said...

Okay girl!!! Let me just say ....WoW, Wow, Wow. You are looking fantastic. You are definately a smaller person...everywhere!!!! Good for you. And you do look a little pissed off in the second picture! Remind me never to wake you up!! :)

Ya know, I can so relate to what you wrote here in this post. It gets so frustrating and boring sometimes! And when you do everything right and see no change in the scale, that just doesn't seem fair.

It is hard to keep at it. To exercise 'every' day, to drink all your water 'every' day, to say no to all kinds of good food 'every' day!!! But that is what makes you an inspiration and for that I am grateful! I am right here with you; thinking those same thoughts and feeling those same feelings. We can do this!!! We will do this!!!

And your friends do look, but crazy!!