Boo Hoo!

Well, I didn't make my Halloween Goal to reach 255. My lowest was 257.5 on Saturday and today I weighed 261. Uugghhhhh!. But I know I haven't been doing what I need to be doing to lose, so I'm hoping that this little set back will provide some much-needed motivation. I NEED to start working out again, and I can't understand why it's soo hard to get back on the wagon when, before I bought the condo, I was working out like a beast: 2-3 mile walks with my dog, 2 mile walkaerobics and 20-30 minutes on my Gazelle--oftentimes all in one evening!! Maybe I wore myself out...maybe my body is bored of that and I need to find another work out method. I still have yet to use the pool in my building but that's because the weather has been weird. Plus, for whatever reason, I'm more self-concious about my body now than I was at my heaviest...the idea of wearing a bathing suit...sigh.

If I could just start walking again. Even a short 2mile walk this evening could do wonders in terms of getting myself back on track. In fact, I should probably see if I could do a little 10 minutes around the block during my lunch break today, provided it's not raining like it was this morning. I hate the idea the idea that my enthusiasm is waning...it's not that I don't want to keep losing. I mean, I spend most days staring at various parts of my body freaking out cause they look different. My legs, from the middle of my thighs down look positively NORMAL!! When I step on the scale, or just stand with my feet together, my thighs don't overlap anymore. They're just next to each other. I was in bed the other day and I noticed that when I lay on my side, my knees hurt because they're resting on the bones rather than all that cushion of fat that was there before. Weird. When I first started, I used to do 15-20 wall push-ups each time I went to the bathroom at work; that's when I actually developed muscles. I used to walk 20 minutes at lunch everyday (even though the only reason I stopped was the crazy downtown Miami high noon heat and I was pretty sweaty and nasty when I got back to the office). I have just got to get started again.

Anyone have any suggestions on how to get "back on track" when you've been on the journey for a while. I'm getting desperate. Like today's Daily Dose talks about, I'm fearful of falling back into old bad habits and I don't want to lose control.